Five Stages of Loss
by I Spaz With Pizzazz
Summary: Without fail, they are losing themselves in each other. And as they fall, their insane craving only gets stronger. Against their better judgement, they feed it. LUCKY chapterfic, shounen-ai.
1. Denial

**A/N: **Pizzazz here, who is (accidentally) high off of Sharpie ™ markers, and excited to reveal the first chapter of my first multi-chaptered Lucky fic! 8D Huzzah! The basic idea is to follow the timeline of the five stages of loss, which usually pertains to someone dying, but. It applies in a lot of places. XD I'm not killing Tyki or Lavi, don't worry. That would be horrible of me.

Happy reading, yo! :3

I do not own D. Gray-Man.

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_Five Stages of Loss:_

_**I – Denial**_

_II – Anger_

_III – Bargaining_

_IV – Depression_

_V – Acceptance_

.x.x.x.

To Lavi, it almost seemed like all of these moments were suspended in time. Little snowflakes, paused in their descent; that were very pretty to look at but not to touch, because they were sure to give you frostbite eventually. They were descending though, no matter how slowly. Falling, tumbling, _losing _themselves to gravity.

Tyki was his gravity, but Lavi wasn't falling. He was _pretending _to fall, and that was all it was.

"I'm just doing this to get closer to the enemy. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer, right?"

A justification that he told himself to fill up his hollow centre when Tyki wasn't around, but one he never truly did believe. Their bodies entwined and their fingers clutched each other, fitting so exactly right that it set off instant alarm bells in Lavi's head.

_If you follow through with this you are going to be so happy._

_If you follow through with this you are going to hate yourself._

Resisting gravity was too difficult to do by sheer will alone, and especially when that 'will' was a fake to start with.

--

The plan was pillow talk. Simple, clean, no real ties involved. Give Tyki what he wanted while slipping bits of information out of him at the same time. Lavi was there to help the Exorcists, the ones he really cared about, in spite of his duties as future Bookman.

He would allow himself to slip up for them, but never for Tyki. Tyki couldn't possibly be good for him anyway, so he had never expected to get any opposite opinions planted in his head.

Incidentally, Tyki was far more of a gentleman than he had expected, and that hadn't changed with any of their meetings. He was genuinely a nice, easy to get along with person; however the whole opposite sides of the war thing affected their 'relationship'. (Lavi used to scoff more when he dubbed it with that word, but only in the beginning. Ah, how unsettling it was to acknowledge how much it had become to feel like a real relationship.)

_But _(As there always had to be a but, didn't there? Wasn't that what it seemed like?)_, _the Bookman in training had an _agenda. _(Funny how his own agenda's true purpose kept slipping in his mind. The appointments more closely resembled dates to look forward to than sessions for veiled monitoring.)

Today's designated romp included trying to pry out information on Road, among other things. Or at least that was what Lavi drilled into his skull to be the purpose for coming to see Tyki.

He utterly refused to accept the pang of glee that leapt up in his stomach when he was snatched up by the Noah in an embrace as really there, much less as being significant. Surely that was only because he was hungry or something. Allen had stolen most of his lunch anyway, the glutton. So, it could easily be explained and passed off as innocent. There was no lust involved other than for a quick snack.

Not a quick snack of vagabond.

Of a sandwich.

Exactly.

_Liar._

"Miss me, Mister Bunny Rabbit…?"

Tyki's crooning voice commanded his total attention, and his finely skilled touch kept Lavi electrically awake. A hand playfully was running up his spine, choosing _really _to touch the bone rather than only the skin, which was a feeling like Lavi had never experienced before. To say that he enjoyed it would be to speak an understatement.

But he liked it, yes. Though, that was barely a surprise, considering the Portuguese man was the one skimming it.

"Mmm…let's see, I had a dream about you." The redhead allowed himself to admit. It was the truth, although he was very reluctant to specify what went on in it. Tyki sensed this, and smirked.

"Oh, _did _you now?" He stopped tracing his finger path over Lavi's spine, which was greeted with a protest.

Groaning with annoyance, Lavi glared up at the Pleasure. He wanted him to keep touching him. Now. Because who knew how many more opportunities they would have for it? No one knew when dumb old Panda would mention that he probably already knew where he was going off to all these times, so he would have to savour what all he—

Oh, no.

That was _not _Lavi thinking that. No. Just no.

Still, it stood that whoever _was _thinking that _really _wanted Tyki to keep touching him. Wanted it with a feverent passion that Lavi was having a difficult time keeping safely bridled and ensnared in his control.

His control was running out of wick to burn on. Soon it was going to get extinguished entirely. _Very _soon. Days, seconds…it was impossible to pinpoint, but they both could tell; both Lavi and the boy inside of him who wanted to _accept _the whole brunt of the Pleasure. Because it was so insanely _pleasing_ to lie in state with Tyki Mikk, and…

_Oh god, I don't think I can deny this any more._

"So what happened in the dream, my bunny-pet?" The Noah prodded, eyes plainly laughing to themselves at seeing Lavi's childlike reluctance to share. "What, was it dirty or something?" He chuckled, fondling one lock of the Exorcist's flaming hair. "Are you embarrassed to tell me?"

_Damn this guy… _Lavi swallowed, pulling himself further into Tyki's embrace. The heat of his neck was brushing up against his face. Deciding to ditch his initial hesitance, Lavi elaborated. "Well, not _really _dirty. Why can you be such a pervert sometimes? Geez." Okay, so maybe it had been dirty. But he didn't have to say so yet, did he?

"It's in the job description." Tyki responded, sarcastic. "You know, I'm the Noah of _Pleasure, _after all. Surely they've explained _that _to you at your frumpy little Black Order?"

He spoke without thinking. "I don't need _them _to tell me so. You're doing just fine yourself, Tyki."

"Ooh. Am I imagining it, or was that little statement somewhat flirtatious?"

"Yeah, it might have been." Only because it had been. Damn it. The control he was depending on had disintegrated into a very fine thread, and it was already severing. "So what, huh?"

"So, this dream."

And it might as well have snapped in that moment, if not sooner. Lavi couldn't take colouring inside the lines any more. Tyki's breath all over his skin was an erotic drink that made him want to head straight for the fucking dance floor and shake his ass like it was the last night he would ever spend raging with life.

"My dream?" He whispered in his ear, letting his mouth stay half open invitingly, his voice lingering. "It started basically just like this. And then pretty much you decided that only standing around was too boring."

"Did I really now?" Tyki was smiling to himself, and he let his hand return to tracing Lavi's spine, which was precisely what it craved.

"And then I bet you can infer what exactly happened next."

He pretended to consider for a moment before answering. "I think I'll take that bet." Tilting Lavi's head toward his own, his tongue flicked out and found Lavi's soft, eager lips.

All thoughts of Lavi's 'mission' were deteriorated. It was too late for him to keep lying that that was why he was there. Oh, he was there because he – _Lavi _– wanted to be there, and he didn't care to stop himself. He might as well tear the damn colouring book to shreds; he honestly had stopped colouring inside the lines the first time a thought strayed into his mind about Tyki that shouldn't have belonged there.

Lavi had quit the denial stage cold turkey and was grateful to have done so, because it was so euphoric to surrender himself to this man.

But it scared the shit out of him to wonder what might come in the future.

--

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**A/N: **Good? Bad? Sucked so hard that I need to go jump off of a cliff and never bother you again? XD Although I'm such a masochist I actually think it would be very fun to jump off of a cliff. Pretend that I'm flying and whatnot. At least I could die enjoying myself… But yeah. (I have no idea where all that came from. -sweatdrop-) Very fun to write though. Chapter two will get started shortly! I already have the whole thing plotted out to the end.

Thanks for reading, my lovelies. :3


	2. Anger

**A/N: **I'm glad to see I didn't totally fail and get sentenced to jumping off that cliff. XD Tyki is in charge of this chapter, by the way, and I tried to keep him as IC as possible for the situation. I plan on switching off each chapter so both spirals fit together. So yeah. We'll see if I can avoid the cliff one more time. X3 I wasn't really sure how to start this chapter, but I think it makes more sense than what I first wrote in my notebook.

I don't own D. Gray-Man. If I did, these hiatuses would GO AWAY. -sob-

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Five Stages of Loss:

_I – Denial_

_II – Anger_

_III – Bargaining_

_IV – Depression_

_V – Acceptance_

.x.x.x.

"Oh, so Tyki! I've been meaning to ask you. How's _Lavi?_"

Tyki hadn't been to see his rabbit for a few days. The last time had been when they'd reenacted the dream. An perfect performance, or so Lavi had told him with a sly smirk. He was actually missing Lavi very much at that moment, and hearing his name made Tyki look up eagerly, nearly forgetting that no one was supposed to know they'd been meeting. He and Road were sitting together, alone in the ark, and before she had said that things had been rather tranquil.

Until then, mind you.

"Excuse me?" Tyki murmured, electric sparks shooting without warning through his veins. "Excuse me…?"

"Lavi," Road repeated, "How's that yummy little Exorcist you've been sleeping with?"

And defensively, before he even knew she really did just say that, those electric sparks ignited, and he erupted out of total terror. The blood was bubbling in his ears, the rage trembling out of his throat, almost as hard as his limbs were suddenly shaking with that inconvenient, involuntary terror.

Why was he afraid?

Oh, it made him so _furious – _and this wasn't any kind of fury that was a _regular _fury – that his pretty little dream of playing house wasn't as much a secret as he'd sketched it out to be.

"What…what…. Who…who_ told_ you who it _was_?!" He had mentioned once or twice that he'd been seeing someone, but never told her any specific names.

Was it house he was playing at? Was he really only rehearsing a childish game with Lavi? Or was there another objective to it? But there was no time for pondering that. He had to try to see how well he could, or even _if, _he could make Road think he wasn't there because he liked Lavi's company. Adored it. Found safety, numb sanctuary in it…

Instincts were already trying to find a way to make an excuse or create a quick façade of disinterest. That's what he would do if it were anything else.

_Don't say that you love that little twerp, don't say that you care at all, don't say that _yes, _you _would _in fact mind a tad bit if you found his corpse mangled and bloody and so _dead _it was already decomposing away all the beauty—_

Thinking of that picture was like a bullet slamming into his skull. He scratched it away and replaced it as fast he could.

_…Just don't say you're angry. Being angry makes it clear you would care._

_You do care._

_You _will _care._

_Because I _am _angry right now._

But he couldn't quite shape disinterest into either of his personalities. So, in limbo and without a plan, he blindly couldn't stop himself.

"Road, answer me! Who told you? Who, who told you, Road…?!" He panted, appalled that this terror was making him yell so brutally at his niece. She was the one who always comforted him when he had no chance to escape to Lavi, the one who didn't leave when his scars were painful again.

Because of all of that, he could be positive she wouldn't turn on him, but he was made so defensively angry_. _He didn't like this feeling; it wasn't anything he'd ever felt before. There had never been a reason to feel it, because he'd not had anything to protect until then.

Her eyes were wide like she was surprised, but mostly she just seemed confused as to how her uncle was even capable of becoming such a sudden mess. "Wow, nobody told me. I figured it out. And if you really don't want me to, I won't tell anyone else, just so long as I don't have to… It's not like I can realistically expect _you _to keep it in your pants. And since you did say there was a guy you'd been with, I didn't think it would matter if I investigated a little. Come on, I'm a school girl. A hopeless romantic of a school girl. I got _curious. _But Tyki, does it really have to be an _Exorcist? _Really…?"

There was an explosive panic inside him. He already fucking knew there was a problem with Lavi being an Exorcist. Wasn't the Black Order seal on his coat as obvious as a blinking neon sign above a bar? Tyki had seen that coat, with _that _damn seal many times by then, discarded in a corner while they got down to passionate business. "Yes, _thank you, _Road, for pointing that out to me." He growled, annoyed and with acidic sarcasm eating through his whole body. "I _hadn't _noticed."

She rolled her eyes, which only shoved needles into his distressed skin more. "Good god, Tyki. I said I wouldn't tell. Why are you being this pissy?"

"Pissy?" The Pleasure quipped, chuckling with that same sarcasm, "And, love, you expect me not to be?"

"You were acting so smiley all of a sudden, and it wasn't that cocky, smug smile you get when you win at a game of poker. So eventually," she smirked here, "I followed you to see who could possibly be that good."

Gritting his teeth, Tyki tried to stop the defensive edge from poisoning his voice again. At least she had had somewhat good intentions. "…When?" He asked finally, now just very tired. "When did you do that?"

"Hm? Oh, a few days ago. But your 'little bunny' was describing quite the dream he'd had. From what I can tell, it was a hell of a lot better than the one I gave him that day on the ark. Ha, if I'd known you'd be with him now I might have tried harder to give a good first impression…"

"Shit, Road! How long were you there?"

"I left a little after that because I was definitely getting a feeling you two were going to…um, _tango, _if you get my drift."

"Fuck." He filled in, pushing back his hair in a tired sigh.

"Tyki?" She questioned carefully, more cautious than she'd been in her blunt reveal, and that worried him.

"What?" It was an exhausted grunt, full well knowing that the unfamiliar, out of place anger was going to flare up again, probably. _Get it over with._

"Do… Do you really trust him?"

Protective toward Lavi, Tyki's eyes scrunched, watching her wearily. "He's a good kid, Road. Better than you are, you damn nosey gossip." _And when he does misbehave it's sexy. _"He's a good kid…" _I sound like a housewife, you know._

_But I really wouldn't mind being a housewife, as long as I still got to be on top… _He wouldn't mind taking care of Lavi. The boy needed it sometimes, really. Every time Tyki looked at him he found himself noticing how much the Bookman could get a look in his eyes like a lost little boy who was separated from his mother one day at the supermarket and never found her again.

Tyki wondered what _he _looked like to Lavi. He hoped it was something higher than only a gambling vagabond who roleplayed his way through life.

"Well, I'm a good kid too. But it depends who you ask."

"And if you asked me, I'd say that I know better than to believe that." Now that they were on the subject, he wanted even more now to be touching all parts, in and out of the imagined scooping out Lavi's beautiful veins like ice cream. Like strawberry ice cream…

If only it could be a buffet that was never ending.

There were so many goddamn if onlys.

And it pissed him _off._

With an impatient sigh, Tyki studied his niece. "Look, Road. Remember how when I taught you how to play cards, I told you only to bet it all when you were absolutely sure things were worth it?" Before going on, the Portuguese waited for her to give a curt nod. "…Good. Because on that day you saw us, something critical felt like it changed. And I'm sure now."

She seemed to understand. Although it made her look a bit sad for some reason, the edges of her lips twisted up into a traced, flickering smile. "So when you say 'bet it all', what _exactly _do you mean? You're…you're serious enough to love the Exor—" Road corrected herself as Tyki began to tense back up at the word, "To love Lavi…?"

"…Maybe."

_My little bunny is all in, too. _

Tyki was all in because he did think it was worth it, and Lavi was in because of a mix of the temptation and that he did feel some of the same things as well.

However, since Tyki knew how to play poker well, he knew that no matter how good the odds looked in one moment, it didn't mean they would still let them win.

"Aha." Road giggled. "Well then, when you see him tonight, tell your honey I said hello."

"…Sure."

--

Kisses in the dim dusk as they came together.

"Hey, Bunny."

"Hello, Tyki…"

"Planning on having any more entertaining dreams soon?"

"Nah, not tonight anyway. Unless you object, I don't plan on sleeping tonight."

"Ha."

"…Just make me forget all the reasons why I shouldn't be here, and if you can it'll all be alright."

"I'll do my best." Even though he knew damn well he couldn't get rid of them all.

That was when they started losing, but they were still too hungry to capture the odd, fleeting, lovely feeling of 'happy' to check exactly how fast the odds were shifting.

But, Tyki justified, he would so much rather kiss this boy than be angry forever.

And they moved right on along to the next stage.

--

**A/N: **It will be back to Lavi for the third part! Thanks for reading~. 8D


	3. Bargaining

**A/N: **April… was… months ago. Dx; I had blockage issues and I'm still not totally satisfied with this chapter, but I promised myself I'd update. ^^; -sweatdrop- And I promised ChiChi, so. She'd beat me with a stick if I didn't soon, lawlz.

Here's stage three. 8D

I don't own DGM. X3;

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Five Stages of Loss:

_I – Denial_

_II – Anger_

_III – Bargaining_

_IV – Depression_

_V – Acceptance_

.x.x.x.

When he woke up Lavi was next to Tyki. He'd done that before; plenty of times. Tyki's flesh was warm on his, with his toned dark stomach moving gently up and down. Breathing, just breathing.

Lavi rubbed his eye, which was feeling fuzzy and still clogged with sleep. What was worse was that the sun was peering in on him like an arrow. With a soft groan, he tried to block it with the back of his hand. Try as he might, the red haired exorcist couldn't manage to get it to stop glaring in his face.

_Jeez, I've never had _this_ problem before, so why…_

_Ah. That's right. I haven't._

He hadn't.

Either the sun had risen unusually early, or _he _had risen unusually late. Dangerously late, he could even go so far as to say. Generally he would have begun on his way back to the Order quite a long while before there was _any _light, let alone such _bright _light.

What time _was _it?

God, it didn't matter.

He was in trouble, that's all there was to it.

_Awh…I'm an idiot. They're going to be frantic about where I am, especially old Panda… I'll have to make up a damn _great _lie. Well, I'm sure as hell awake now._

And when the body next to him shifted and murmured his name sleepily, Lavi was reminded exactly why he was feeling endangered.

The sun in his eyes was nothing compared to the face. "Tyki…" He whispered, shocked for some reason. "What time is it, exactly…?"

The Noah massaged his forehead and blinked. "Noon, maybe?"

_I should have been gone hours ago._

_No, actually…_

_I _shouldn't _have been gone hours ago, because I shouldn't have been _here.

Honestly, the Bookman had already given up inwardly on not developing emotional ties. Those were for his comrades, and with those he had the desire to protect.

Physical desires, like this with Tyki Mikk, like with this _enemy—_

Those were doing utterly nothing to protect his friends.

_I can't let this sort of thing happen again… _Lavi's eye went blank as his brain tried to process and plan and _fix. _His existence was intended to be more of a machine than a feeling _person, _after all. Lavi should have easily been able to find a way to fix his blatant mistake.

Mistakes. Plural. Oh, because this was _so _not the first time he'd _stupidly _been with Tyki. Mikk, been with _Mikk._

Calling him by his first name made Lavi start to think it was okay to care for him.

(It was scaring him, this _noon sun _and rationalization. But the Bookman machine was louder at the moment than the _Lavi _with other thoughts.)

Tyki – _Mikk – _was looking at him oddly, almost expectantly. "Are you alright? Hey, you seem distracted…"

_Ha, distracted? I've been so distracted lately that it is going to cost more than just me: Panda, my _friends_, the whole Order, the world – which might actually deserve being helped after all…_

Was this another emotion? 'Distress'? 'Lavi' was experiencing 'distress'?

Well, as it was turning out, 'Lavi' was looking like quite the fool to the responsible Bookman part of himself.

"Rabbit, are you even listening? Hey—" Concerned, the Noah reached out and caught Lavi's chin in his fingers, tilting his head up to lock eyes. "Bad dream or something…?"

But _'Lavi' _was the one who looked out of his eye, and at _Tyki. _Quieting the fretful Bookman inside him, Lavi tried his best to give Tyki a convincing grin. "Yeah, I think I might have had a bad dream…but it's okay, I don't even remember it now… Hey, so listen."

_Just give me this one more day with him, okay?_

"Yes…?"

"Today, since you're so warm and cuddly, I'll stay with you. It's too late to go back to the Order anyway… I can tell them I got conked on the head by some girl who didn't appreciate me flirting with her or something and was unconscious for hours."

_Give me this one more day and I _promise_… I'll never see him again. One more day and then I promise._

The puzzled stare from Tyki made him nervous, and the redhead wondered if he could tell something _was _very wrong. After an awkward moment though, the Pleasure smiled and nodded curtly. "I imagine you expect me to show you a good time, then? There's actually a few things I've been thinking of…"

"And they are…?" Lavi moved to bury his face in Tyki's neck, but he found himself pried away."

"Ah-ah. Get _dressed _for them. We could be _normal _people today, if you'd like."

There was nothing that sounded sweeter than to be a normal person…he often used to try to imagine what it might feel like not to have some grand preplanned destiny.

It sounded very nice. Looked it, at least.

Regular people didn't ever have to worry if they were _allowed _to be smiling and mean it.

"Okay."

_One day, and I promise, I swear._

_…Do you really, 'Lavi'?_

--

"Are you sure nothing's wrong? You're unusually quiet." The Noah observed, looking over him as they sipped at drinks. "You are hiding something from me, rabbit."

"It's nothing, alright?" Lavi winced, waving it off nonetheless. Though he knew it would turn out to be wishful thinking, he'd been hoping he could simply slip off and never tell Tyki it had to be all over.

Had to.

Despite him technically knowing why it _had to, _he still didn't understand.

Hoping it would numb the agony of the invisible gashes strewn over his conflicted body, he let Tyki take him around as a normal person the rest of their fading day.

--

The arrival of evening dark never seemed to rest more heavily in the Bookman's urging blood. The moon's silver half-slice staring daringly down at him, stern and yet remorseful as well.

He swallowed. This was the part where he left. He and Tyki were facing each other, embraced before he was to return to the Order, full of excuses.

Full of excuses, and according to the dutiful parts of his brain, for the last time, thank you.

About to leave the embrace and smoothly trickle away, _disappear_, Lavi's breath caught in surprise when Tyki grabbed his arm. A stinging filled up his chest like a syringe drawing blood. "Er," he tried to chuckle casually, "Babe, I need my arm back, please…?"

Inquisitive, the Pleasure again looked at him. Sighing after a bit, he loosened his grip and let Lavi's limp hand fall away. "Sorry. Just…I got another odd feeling. I don't know why, but today…never mind, bunny."

His teeth ground guiltily together. "Oh." Lingering longer than he ever should have, he drew himself once more back into Tyki's chest and pressed his lips against the older man's cheek. With a tender kiss there, he whispered, "Goodbye."

Far too serious.

It sounded far too serious.

The Noah blinked once, and his mouth twitched. That wasn't right, the way that his rabbit had said that. And not to mention how his rabbit had not been right all _day._

Carefully, gentlemanly, he nodded, but was all the more suspicious, panic stricken, confused. "Y…yes. I'll…see you soon, bunny."

He waited for the reply.

"Bunny? I said I'll see you s—"

"I'm sorry."

It was a tremble of words.

Tyki's eyes narrowed, suspect. On guard, his own tone lowered to something more serious as well. "Excuse me, dear?"

The silence was of the Pleasure's heart being stricken into chalk crumbles.

It hurt to swallow chalk. Devito had dared Jasdero to do that last week, and he was still angry at his twin for making him.

His crumbly heart clenched.

Lavi's lips finally moved. "I can't."

Suspended in the tricky moment, he repeated, "And I said, excuse me, dear…? Are you making a cute joke…?"

The Noah didn't like it when the moment he was finally, blissfully content with something, it was taken away.

When he had told Road 'maybe he loved Lavi', he had really been saying yes.

He didn't fancy the feeling of a miserable lonely road. He'd settled for that _so long _after he'd been unable to see his vagabond companions and before he'd at last found dear Lavi; he didn't want it again.

"No." Lavi, the sad, _human _Lavi uttered, wishing nothing more than to be a regular sad human as Tyki had shown him in the hours of their day. "It's not…I… I can't see you soon. Not any more. Goodb—"

"No, Lavi."

Tyki's hand was inside the exorcist's chest without warning.

The wings of a butterfly tickled his lungs dangerously, and he was smart enough to stop talking and apologizing.

Disappointed in both of them, Tyki smiled an empty little grin. His eyes genuinely were regretful, but frightened and desperate enough to be telling the truth. "No, _I'm _sorry, Bunny, but I believe I told you I loved you once or twice…? Lovely, I meant it. I can't let you 'not see me soon', for that reason."

Terrified, the redhead nodded, unbreathing.

The Pleasure's tormented smile vanished into simple agony. "You understand? If you don't come back to me, I'll let this Tease eat you up like a chocolate Easter rabbit. And I… I would hate that."

_I know. I know you mean it when you say that._

"So please, Lavi? When you say goodbye to me tonight, don't you dare mean it like _that._"

Lavi swallowed. _And I know you mean that too. _The Tease's wings beat daringly in his ribs as Tyki drew out his hand, leaving the obedient butterfly inside, hungry and waiting for the order to kill. "All… Alright. I'll be back." The Bookman stammered, not certain yet if he was being honest.

At the moment, did he care if he was alive or dead?

Frantic, lonely Tyki exhaled. "Good…" Trying to make it up to him, he gave Lavi a brief kiss on the hand. "I'll see you soon. I should hope.

As Lavi turned to begin his way back, he still had no idea. He was almost comforted, in an odd way, by the ticking bomb inside him. At least it was like a bit of Tyki.

Observing as his dear rabbit left, the Noah couldn't help but notice his hands had begun to shake. He brought them closer to his eyes to examine them, and could do no more than close those eyes.

_Lavi._

_Lavi, I doubt if I could tell the Tease to hurt you…_

_But what else am I supposed to do to get you to stay?_

Pleasure was a difficult, selfish business at times, after all.

No was a difficult answer to take, especially when he could tell Lavi wasn't even sure if that was what he wanted. Well, Tyki could help him decide, and free of charge as long as he didn't choose to pay with his beloved, beautiful life.

What a bargain, yes?

But as he began to lose sight of Lavi's retreating form, it seemed less and less that way.

Was he doing something wrong, now?

Lavi had never made him feel so suddenly _sad_ before.

--

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**A/N: **I promise next chapter I'll make more sense. xD; This was the hardest part to write, and I knew it would be…but…did any of it make sense? D8 Part four will be out soon to make up for my recent updating failure. ^^; -shot-

xD; Damn.


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